Legislators in Texas, Dan Patrick and Sid Miller, recently filed a motion to appeal a ruling regarding their manipulative and senseless ultrasound-before-abortion legislature. Federal District Judge Sam Sparks has ruled against the motion, made by an unsavory anti-abortion sideshow lawyer in Texas named Allan Parker, whose sloppy tactics did not go unrecognized by the Judge:
[T]he Court is forced to conclude Allan E. Parker, Jr., the attorney whose signature appears on this motion, is anything but competent. A competent attorney would not have filed this motion in the first place; if he did, he certainly would not have attached exhibits that are both highly prejudicial and legally irrelevant; and if he foolishly did both things, he surely would not be so unprofessional as to file such exhibits unsealed. A competent attorney who did those things would be deliberately disrespecting this Court and knowingly shirking his professional responsibilities, offenses for which he would be lucky to retain his bar card, much less an intact bank balance.
For Mr. Parker’s sake, and because the Court has no time to hold a sanctions hearing –- in part because it must take time out of deciding the actual legal issues in this case to address the self-serving entreaties of attention-seekers like Mr. Parker –- the Court assumes Mr. Parker is as incompetent as he appears. Rather than sanction him, the Court simply does what Mr. Parker would have done if he was a competent professional, and seals attachment 7 to his motion.
Anti-evolution and Intelligent Design lawyers also tend to strategize in the same way: they mistake spectacle for substance.